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sunglasses_r_us

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it won't be long

we'll meet again

Created on 2006-06-09 18:43:51 (#10417686), last updated 2006-10-02

216 comments received, 144 comments posted

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203 Journal Entries, 0 Tags, 0 Memories, 0 Virtual Gifts, 10 Userpics

Basic Info

Name:	sunglasses_r_us

Bio

summary of my life so far: i was born in newrochelle hopsital. i lived in a house in yonkers with my happily married mother & father till i was 4. we moved to carmel so me and my sister would grow up somewhere where my parents weren't scared we'd get raped. instead my parents got divorced. my mom has spent the past 12 years moving from house to house being evicted and all that stuff. my dad has been a pretty succesfull carpenter. i have just been me, split between the two and pretty okay with it. my mom is my favorite person and my cat is my favorite anything. i didnt really begin living till i got to high school cuz thats when i stopped trying to be someone else. LAME. yup. i fell in love in the summer of 04. and thats basically whats directed my life since then. i'm doing pretty well in school although i must say its not my top priority. i love life, and i love love.

my friends: they mean the world to me. i think that living is impossible with out a few good friends and many not as close ones. being with my friends keeps me sane. okay, i'm never sane but being with my friends keeps me from going nuts, okay i'm already nuts. the point is i don't know how i'd live with out my friends. i love them so much. i ramble a lot and i'm okay with that.

to be honest, for the most part, im in love with myself. i like the way i look i like the way i act. i like the way i sing, and im the worst dancer you've ever met, but i love the way i dance. i'm overly emotional and i get myself involved in other peoples lives way too much but i only mean the best, and i love that too. i think i'm a decent person, actually more then decent, i really care about other people, but i know i'm selfish too, i tend to put myslef first, its not that i mean to, or i care about myself most, i just tend to notice my problems more and then once i realize other people's i feel bad. i love helping people with their problems and i love when people feel like they can talk to me about their problems.

i want to be famous. i dont care for what. i've always wanted to be on broadway, but i've already accepted that it wont happen cuz i cant dance for shit. i want to be a model too, i've got a few too many scars but i think that can be helped, i just need that whole skinny aspect... thats one thing i don't like about myself, i'm not overweight or anything, but i would like to have a body that people look at and envy, yes, i enjoy it when people are jealous of me, so maybe i've got a little bit of bitch in me. i'm okay with that. i talk about people sometimes behind their backs. mostly fake people. they annoy me. like the 1% etheopian type, they annoy me a lot. ewwww, who does that? yah...

i like inviting all my friends into chats on aim, but usually they invite too many people and then i don't understand anything thats being said. i know thats verrrry important to knowing who i REALLY am. i honestly dont know who i really am. well i do, im jess, i dont think anyone really knows "who they are" i mean, what does that really even mean? oh well.

i like red and purple. they're my favorite colors. my hair is really think and its pretty dead too. i straighten it too much. i die it too much. its pretty gross, and i kinda like it that way :)

i like swimming in my discusting lake that makes me cough. i like the seaweed (just think of it as lettuce and its not that gross) and i like swimming there in the dark, you cant tell how dirty it is. i like swimming at night in general, cuz its night and its fun. everythings funner at night, and yes i said funner. i always say funner. dont correct me, its annoying.

oh did i mention that i'm in love? well i am. and my life basically revolves around that. its not something i'm ashamed of, although its a VERY complicated situation lol. we won't go there, just know that i love someone, and its not you, so don't try me.

my mom. i love her. she's done so much for me. the one thing she's ever done to let me down was moving to lake george, and its very selfish of me to say that, cuz she didn't really have a choice but i miss her wayyy too much for my own good. its too expensive up here. but i've only seen her like 5 times since november, and thats the worst thing ever. my mom is the best person in the world, and she does absolutely everything for me. i miss her.

my cat. my cat is the sweetest cat in the world. she jumps on my shoulders, and sleeps on my pillow and claws my head in my sleep and when i wake up she freaks out and gets excited to make me pet her and when i dont want to she digs her claws into me untill i do. lol, but really. my cat is the one thing that i know for sure will always be there for me, will always listen and always love me. and i do the same. she lives with my mom in lake george and that upsets me a lot. fuck lake goerge. although i must admit i like it there in the summer.

my dad? we have a pretty weird relationship. when we get along we're best friends. when we don't we're worse then worst enimies. its really had an impact on my life but i love him. i wouldn't be the person i am if it weren't for him.

step mom? why yes, i've got one. i love her too. we get along, we dont, its okay. i know she loves me, and thats enough.

if you haven't noticed, i love being loved. i love to love. its basically everything to me.

the following people make my life complete:

rich, chelsea, kelly, mcian, chelle, tor, lauren, blackie, manda, mommy, and buttons.
i couldn't live with out them :).

music. music. i also couldn't live with out. and i know people generally say that. but i really do need music. i need to sing like once a day. music really is so much more then sounds. its like insane, i cant even explain to you my feelings about music, but i love it so much, and i like a variety of music. i love writing lyrics. im not so good at coming up with music for my lyrics. i dont even think im that good at writing, but i dont really care. if a song has good lyrics, i will like it whether the musics my style or not. i dont really have a style and i like that about myself.

i've made some mistakes, and when i say some, i really mean a lot, but who hasn't honestly? i don't regret them and i'm not ashamed, the mistakes we make show us who we are and help us figure out who we want to be, i figure why bother regretting them because if we weren't who we are we wouldn't have done them, so something like it was bound to happen, you should just appreciate that it happened in the past and learn from it. its taken a lot for me to realize that my own actions dont only effect me and my relationships with those i love, but it effects people themselves, and i've learned to concider that before i do things.

i've changed A LOT the past 3 years of highschool and i'm still changing, i'm not an adult yet, but i'm becoming one, and that scares me, and yet, it makes me happy at the same time. although there's more responsibility, there's less complications to the things that matter most to me. some might say my priorities arent straight, but i just shoot for what makes me happy, and i'll do anything to protect that. :). thats all.

so i've decided when i feel like it or think of something, i'm just going to add it to this. i've noticed recently that i really can't stand girls who think they're all tough and bad ass, who've always got that don't mess aditude. i'm not one of those girls, who fights back like a bitch when they're insulted and uses the most irritating body language ever. i'm not threatening, i honestly believe if i got in a fight i could kick someone's ass but i'm not the type to fight, i don't get angry or jealous and be like i'll kick that bitch's ass. i don't really curse people out, its just not my thing, and i dont snap my fingers infront of my face as if that makes me intimidating.

i also get kinda annoyed at the people that are all oh, this is my ethnicity and my personality HAS to revolve around it. if you are 100% one ethnicity, chances are, WE CAN TELL. you dont need to glue flags to your face. you dont need to remind me that the reason your ass is huge is because you're puertorican, or that your atitude is because your columbian. its funny if you say things like that jokingly. but no one is jealous becuase you're puertorican, or columbian, or irish, or italian. you're not an italian barbie by the way, if you were a life size italian barbie which would be a terrible misfortune, you'd be extremely out of proportion, with giant eyes and the longest legs anyone has ever seen. it'd be discusting, and i'd be happy, then you'd stop saying you're a fucking barbie doll, cuz face it YOU'RE NOT. i'm hungarian gypsie, alsasian, german...? irish probably? honestly. i think its pretty cool that im hungarian gypsie, but i dont wear a flag, or weird jewlery all over my face... thankyou.

i hate it when people are like oh this person's so fake, they act so differently around all their friends. i have never met someone who doesnt do that. certain people bring out certain character traits in you. its just what happens. i have some friends that are just really party friends, or like trip friends. for example petra. we have parties and get drunk. we tan and go on trips parasailing and jet skiing. we're completely insane and we work out allll the time... its weird. chelsea? we watch porn and degrassi and talk like 3 year olds sometimes. kelly, we have serious talks, we bitch about skinny people a lot, she talks abuot missing her boyfriend blackie, who when im with, im extremely sarcastic, more so then usual, and we crack up about everythingggg, we make fun of everything, and thats it, mcian, we talk a lot, we drive around, we swim, we go to eckards and look at hair die and then i never buy any, he makes me laugh at the wrong times and we usually end up eating somewhere, we make weird noises and think of weird things that have no relevance to anything. me and lauren talk about our boys, and talk about stupid girls we're jealous of, we talk about not eating junk food and then eat tons of it, we walk to hess and we come up with the dumbest ways to solve our problems that accomplish NOTHING. im different around all my friends, but im still me. so SHUT UP.

i hate people who try and be their boyfriends. people who start dating someone with a mohawk and tatoos, so they die their hare and start wearing studded belts... your boyfriend liked you before you did that, chances are they dont want you to be someone else... its just stupid. stop changing for people :).

thats it for now!

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